Christmas is nearly upon us and I'm still fighting to keep fall. It feels like time is spinning by so quickly I'm dizzy. I'm nearly done with my Christmas shopping and I'm a little nervous about the bills that will soon be wending their way to my little mailbox. Send Christmas cards, friends; it will counter the evil of the bills. It's probably time to break out the Christmas music and start decorating and baking but I look helplessly around my apartment trying to figure out just WHERE I can even put my tree this year. Maybe I can just decorate my elliptical machine! Though I HAVE been using it more lately. Sadly, my energy levels seem to be in direct correlation to the sunlight and as it gets darker earlier and earlier I am tired that much more. I truly do watch and wait for the winter solstice knowing that after that the days will begin to grow once more.
I am loving my new car yet I'm frustrated that I don't have a garage so if it's not sap from the trees that overhang our parking lot, it's the frost and snow that I have to remove from my car each day in the winter. My poor baby. My car doesn't have a headbolt heater and I'm rather nervous that one day it might not start. The people at Honda truly didn't seem to think I would need one. I just wonder if that's because they all have garages and think nothing of it or if they really "get" how exposed my sweet car is.
I've been urged to decorate quickly and submerge myself into the holiday spirit, the holiday season I typically love. Yet, there is some sadness for me as I think of the trips to the hospital a year ago and miss my grandmother. She was my anchor to my family and to holiday and to God. Without her some days it just seems like I'm only getting by. Christmas brings with it a kind of idealism that is housed in favorite holiday films and songs, the memories of a past that seems better than it ever really was and a longing for a future of traditions and memories of my own making. I understand why this season is so hard for so many people and I believe it is because we are reminded of how we long for more. The question is do we wallow in the realities however grim or do we do we work toward making more out of our lives?
Obviously I know what I'm supposed to do.
2 comments:
So, the winter solstice rapidly nears for you, eh? Wow! I'll bet it gets dark very early there now-- like by 7:15 PM, or thereabouts. How really dreadful that must be for you folks in the far northern climes! I would not be too shocked if that "Seasonal Affective Disorder" problem turned out to be the underlying cause of a general feeling of uneasiness among shoppers in the malls this season!
It seems like it gets darker even earlier than that.. not sure what time.
SAD and not the economy? I would think that SAD hits every year but the economy is particularly bad, this year. Hmmmm... maybe it is a combination.
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