Am I Paranoid?

"Do you have the time
To listen to me whine
About nothing and everything
All at once
I am one of those
Melodramatic fools
Neurotic to the bone
No doubt about it

Sometimes I give myself the creeps
Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me
It all keeps adding up
I think I'm cracking up
Am I just paranoid?
Or I'm just stoned"

-- from Green Day "Basket Case"

Well, I'm not stoned. And it turns out I am not paranoid either. And that first stanza... I must say, that's a bit like reading my blog, eh? Self-indulgent, melodramatic, blah blah blah. Okay, I'm over it.

Soooo... last Saturday after giving my car her one year anniversary "works" car wash at Valley Dairy, I added my happy-clappy Obama car magnet to my bumper. Me. With a car magnet. ME! The girl who HATES car magnets and bumper stickers, especially the dumb Calvin and Hobbes rude ones. Well, this girl broke down and decided to sport a magnet, because it was a respectable design and I was inspired by the daily offensive offensive of Mike N's facebook status remarks to actually proudly display my political viewpoint in hopes of inspiring others, particularly when it comes to voting on Tuesday. My viewpoint drove all over Fargo on Saturday, politicked in my parking lot all day Sunday (since I didn't even emerge from my pjs the entire day), and then I did my daily work, grocery store, home commute on Monday.

Then after school on Tuesday when I left work, I noticed my Obama car magnet was gone. Without a trace. Could it have fallen off when I was driving? Did my magnet fail? I knew it was on my car on Monday night, but was it there when I left for work on Tuesday morning? Was this the work of the parking lot vandals who potentially buy and sell drugs in our lot? Was this a politically motivated theft? Was it pure vandalism, let's take it to be mean, just because we can? Did I lose my lovely magnet in my lot at school, where I was parked in broad daylight for 8 hours? Did a student take it to be funny? I searched the bushes, there was not a magnet in sight.
I tried not to let that get me down. I visited the local Democratic party headquarters in order to buy a new one (my first one was ordered online). They didn't have any but they said they'd have bumper stickers in a couple days. That would have to do.

So, today between school dismissal and our evening parent-teacher conferences I decided to run a few errands. Since the Dem. headquarters was nearby, I stopped there first. The original plan was to merely tape the bumper sticker in the back window since I wasn't quite ready to put a sticker on my bumper. The magnet I could handle. A permanent sticker felt more like a tattoo that I wasn't ready for. Only, it turns out these new bumper stickers are more like clings in that they are removeable. They adhere nicely, (I cleaned off the bumper before I stuck it on) and yet, they seem to be able to be peeled off just as easily.

From the bumper sticker christening I moved on to purchasing a controlled substance at the local pharmacy. Yes. I needed some Claritin D. Next I drove to the grocery store where I picked up a few supplies for tomorrow's potluck at work. Both errands took about 15 minutes. So, when I returned to my car to stash my groceries, I noticed my bumper sticker was gone. For half a second I thought perhaps I was driving a bumper sticker magnet resistant Honda. That maybe I was just being paranoid in thinking that someone was deliberately sabotaging my efforts at supporting Obama. Then I noticed distinct finger marks in the dust beside the clean area where a bumper sticker once was. It was obvious someone had peeled it off. Seriously. What the hell?

So, on Tuesday I lose my car magnet. On Thursday, 20 minutes after applying my first ever bumper sticker, someone actually has the balls to peel it off my car. Glad to know it was that easy to remove. Thankfully I got TWO bumper stickers and so I carefully wiped the area clean and applied bumper sticker number 2.

I am just so absolutely stunned that there are people out there who would actually dare to remove my bumper sticker in a crowded parking lot in the middle of the day when I, the owner of the car, could have approached at any second. Was this person following me and watching for me to get out of my car so they could vandalize it? Or was this just a momentary fit of McCain/Palin lovin' rage that pushed some normally passive person over the edge? And what on earth would I have done if I HAD caught some in the act. I am a bit nervous about that. Wow. I hate things like theft and sneakery and breaking and entering and just vile acts of cowardice in general. And I would hate to be put in a position like that. I don't think it would end well.


It's 11:47 pm. I just did a visual check. Bumper sticker # 2 still on car. I will keep you posted.