I am bitter at life right now. There is simply not enough time for this, that, and the other. School's started and the last ten days of my vacation were spent in a whirlwind attempt to prepare curriculum for the new class I'm teaching in addition to all the other back to school stuff I do each year. I had so many things I wanted to do this summer and now I feel like those opportunities must be set aside for another year and THAT makes me bitter.
Since school started I've not been able to exercise like I was doing in the weeks before and that is in part just because I'm busier and I don't have the extra time, not just for the exercise but to cram in the second shower of the day before doing the next thing on the list. And now this week I've had another workout obstacle--I've come home from work tired... I mean, DEAD TIRED. Yesterday I had a couple things planned after work and that ended about 7 pm, without any intention of doing so I managed to turn "resting my head for a second" into a two hour "nap" and I would have probably slept until morning had I not been awakened by a phone call. In the end I figure I slept about 11 hours last night and, despite the extra sleep, I still overslept my alarm by an hour.
The thing I am MOST bitter about is the fact that the Democratic National Convention has been on and I've not managed to see one bit of the coverage. I hear about it the next day at work, but I've not had the energy or the time to turn on the TV and find out what's going on. I've glanced at the newspapers each day at work, but even those I've not had time to read because once the day starts, there's no stopping. Part of the problem is that in the midst of the chaos of my school world I actually FORGOT about it and when I could haVE been at least DVRing it to watch later, I just spaced it out entirely. It's like I have some kind of exhausted survival mode going that requires me to simply do the next thing on the list and forget everything else that isn't essential. When I hear folks talk about the DNC I get wistful and Sara at Midwestern Position said she's addicted to it, and I know that was my intention... to eat up all the speeches and the coverage I could. I missed the entire Olympics, though that is something I am less enthusiastic about. I know I could watch some of that coverage on the Internet or on You Tube and I will, I'm just bitter that I haven't been able to relax and enjoy it.
I know that this sounds all "the glass is half empty" and that's a bit how I feel right now, but it's only because there are too many things pressing me to be done all at once --some of them fun and frivolous, but things that I've committed to nonetheless... Ashlee Hewitt concert on Tuesday, drinks with friends, and last but not least, preparation for trivia hosting --which has been a joyless effort since Barry, the former trivia host is bent on sapping every bit of pleasure I can get from that experience... I'm sure when things start to settle into a routine I'll be able to take on as much as I have been with greater ease and won't feel the mounting pressure I feel today. But that won't bring the Democratic National Convention back and so I guess I just have to just suck it up and watch the online version of things and get over it.